The President
Due to the sensitive time, it is important that the President is seen only in the best of
light. He needs to be able to inspire confidence in the American people. Since he cannot
do that naturally, we need to make sure any humor does not further undermine his lack of
character. Here are approved topics for jokes about President George W. Bush.
- Pets – The Presidential pets are approved subjects for jokes. For example,
"Why did India give everyone presents after going to the beach? Sandy Claws."
- Accent – The President’s accent has been approved as a subject for jokes. WARNING:
This approval may be revoked if it seems to diminish his stature. An example, "Did
you hear the President’s invigorating speech last night? Yes, I found it
drawling."
- Sports – The President’s love of sports has been approved for humorous
material so long as it does not imply the President is not doing his job. For example,
"What did the esteemed President Bush say about Michael Jordan’s return to
basketball? I’m glad he choose to play basketball and not baseball. Hoowee, we had
better hitters on the Rangers."
The Congress
Congress is a vital part of keeping the American war effort organized and unified, but
since humorists need something to make fun of, here are approved topics and personages.
- Senator Daschle – Go ahead and refer to him as Asshole Daschle.
- Senator Jeffords – He is a minor player in the Senate, so allow your mind to run
wild. Some suggestions are: "What do Jeffords, Bin Laden, and Benedict Arnold have in
common? They all want to see America lose!"
- Democrats – Always good fodder for jokes. Go ahead and let your imagination run
loose. Remember, elections are coming up and it is more important now than ever before to
have a unified government. Two parties are one too many.
- Republicans – Why make fun of loyal Americans?
Ex-Presidents
They serve no purpose and can be made fun of at any time. Carter and
Clinton both are ripe material for jokes. Due to his venerable age and the fact half his
staff works for the current government, jokes about Ronald Reagan are verbotten, er
forbidden.
The Supreme Court
It is important we revere these fine, fine Justices. No humor is
allowed about the Supreme Court.
The Military
Due to the fact that they will have to protect this country, no military humor is allowed.
This will include Reader’s Digest Humor in Uniform. This will also include all
military programs, such as SDI/Ballistic Missile Defense/"Star Wars"/"Son
of Star Wars"/etc. |