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I hope they don’t make a hobbit out of this.

I hear the soundtrack was scored by an ORC-estra.

‘One Ring to Rule Them All,’ wasn’t that AT&T’s business plan?

Awww… How precious.

What do you call a short man who got his walking stick cut by his jealous wife? Jon Hobbit.

Three movies? Aren’t they ‘dragon’ this out a bit?

Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Dance, what’s the difference?

Which Lord of the Ring’s character does a man who fantasizes about women’s legs prefer? Legolas.

Do you think Sam is part of the Fellowship of the ring for friendship or Frodo?

Merry and Pippen are gay.

What did Tom Bombadil tell the hobbits as they left his place after a brief visit? Don’t be rangers, come back anytime.

Hello…what do I have in my pocket? <evil grin>

Lord of the Rings? More like Bored of the Rings. (apologies to the Harvard Lampoon for stealing this.)

How is Bilbo like a dildo? They both can disappear in tight spots.

Why did President Clinton want to change the Democrat symbol from a donkey to a pony? So he could be called Bill the Pony.

Why did George W. Bush want to change the Republican symbol from an elephant to a pony? No one knows, he just likes stealing things from Democrats.

What do you call a quiet, repentent servant of the ring?  A solemn gollum.

What did the pink panther say after chopping down a tree?   Dead ent, dead ent, dead ent dead ent dead ent dead ent dead ent!

How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?   None, wizards can create fire so they have no need of a lightbulb.

Knock, Knock.  Who's there? Ivegota.  Ivegota who?   Ivegota Sauron my butt!

Do you have your own?  Send them to me!


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