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What sites search the Web to find you cheap flights?

I want to get out of this country before those loony red-necks start talking military coup.

Where can I learn about the religious figure Jesus?

George W. Bush keeps saying he has Jesus in his heart. I always thought Jesus was a kind caring sort of person. I think when George W. Bush asks himself, ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ he comes up with the answer – ‘Screw the people.’ Maybe he follows a different Jesus than the rest of the Christians.

Where can I find an introduction to the philosophy of Thomas Hobbes?

Leviathon! People are inherently evil. At least that is what the Republicans believe.

Where can I find general information about homosexuality?

Katherine Harris has turned me off women for good!

Where can I find the popular site E*Trade?

If Bush wins, I want to invest my Social Security in the new Homeless-Bastard.com IPO.

Where can I find counseling services online?

The anxiety of not knowing which twit is going to be running this country is driving me insane!

Where can I find a map of the country Mexico?

Mexico…Bush can’t run for office there, right?

Where can I see pictures of alcohol?

I can’t recall the label on Bush’s bottle last night. The way he was gulping it down, it must have been pretty good.

Where can I find information on the animal Florida panther?

I always through when people talked about the Florida panther, they were talking about those old people who are political active. Hoo boy, there sure are a lot of them now.

Where can I learn about what was served at the first Thanksgiving?

Let’s go back to the beginning and start this over. We’ll be nicer to the natives and we won’t institute this GOD DAMNED ELECTORAL COLLEGE!

Where can I find a White Pages directory for the country of the United States of America?

I want to call everyone and tell them to write their Congressman to make me President come January 20th since these two bozos seem inept.

Where can I find an online translator?

I’m a Haitian voter who was turned away from the polls because I required a translator.


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