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Ronald Reagan
"Mommy, I can’t remember my line."
"What do you mean they think I’m already dead?"

George H.W. Bush
"A throne, my kingdom for a throne."
"Read my lips, the Bushes are here to stay."

George W. Bush
"P-Please, I don’t want to die."
"Has the governor called with the pardon, yet?"

Bill Clinton
"It’s been a good ride."
"It’s been good to ride you."

Anna-Nicole Smith
"I could’ve had class."
"It was worth it."

Sally Struthers
"Feed the children my body."
"Just one more drumstick."

O.J. Simpson
"I can’t believe I got away with it."
" . . . it was Kato all along."

Dennis Miller
"I feel like the last Hessian at Riverpoint."

Britanny Speares
"I’ve got vomit in my hair."
"I was famous once."

Al Gore
"Okay, now you can embalm me."
"I shouldn’t have worn plaid today."

David Letterman
". . . and the number one reason why I shouldn’t die is . . ."


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Ghastly Humour is not intended for children under 18 years of age.