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With presidential candidate Bush using a seven lettered expletive, beginning with the letter A followed by a couple S’s and ending in a hole to describe a New York Times reporter, Bush began a new campaign strategy, which many are saying is a refreshing change from the old style. The use of profanity and directly insulting specific reporters has been rumored to be a ‘golden strategy’ among political scientists, but without a testing environment, this strategy was only a theory. George W. Bush, attempting to close the statistical gap between Gore and himself has taken the risk and implemented this strategy.

The theory is nobody likes lawyers, journalists, and pig farmers. These three professions, universally, are equally despised and thus are expendable in campaigning. More importantly, it is believed that more people swear than those who don’t and these voters have never felt suitably represented by government. Every once in a while they get tossed a bone when a Senator here or there begins spouting off, but never do they get to hear expletives used in casually conversation and not in moments of anger.

Bush is a well-known potty mouth. In the frat house, Dubya was known as ‘that shit for brain’s son of a billionaire’ by the others and to his close pals, ‘mother fucker’. Dubya is well versed in the more colorful phrases of the English language and was even believed to pick up Spanish in order to be able to properly swear in multiple languages.

George W. Bush is now using this natural-born gift to his political advantage. Adding the additional savory detail of personally using these expletives against a member of the press was a bold move. No one in America doesn’t think the press is filled with a bunch of pushy assholes who are so biased it isn’t even worth reading what they write. Bush calls them as he sees them, using this as his first opportunity to ‘Say what he means, and mean what he says.’

In future speeches, aides say, Bush will call Gore a ‘pansy-assed piece of shit’ and will label Sam Donaldson ‘a bitch who needs to be slapped’.

Many actors and comiedians who have been lambasted in the past for the use of 'bad language' feel Bush has done a wonderful thing by being openly profane.   George Carlin, famous for his "Seven Words You Cannot Say on Television", reportedly was ecstatic at George W. Bush finally breaking down the profanity barrier.    Children, who in the past used such filthy language in fear, now can speak openly without fear of reprisal.  "If a presidential candidate can call someone and 'asshole' so can I!" Timmy Weng said to his exasperated teacher.

Mrs. Deborah Smith says that the epidemic of bad language stemming form the South Park movie was nothing like this.  "Who knew anybody even listened to Bush?" Mrs. Smith remarked as she tried to force Timmy to write a hundred times, "I will not use inappropriate language in public."

 

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Copyright 2000 Sean D. Francis All Rights Reserved.
Ghastly Humour is not intended for children under 18 years of age.