vpselect.gif (6090 bytes)

The key advice for a presidential candidate in selecting a vice-president running mate is choose someone who appeals to a group of voters you do not, choose someone who highlights issues you want to address in your tenure, and most importantly, choose someone who will not outshine you while in office.

Examples:
Roosevelt - Truman
Truman - Barkley
Eisenhower - Clinton
Eisenhower - Nixon
Kennedy - Johnson
Johnson - Humphrey
Nixon - Agnew
Nixon - Ford
Ford - Rockefeller
Carter - Mondale
Reagan - Bush
Bush - Quayle
Clinton - Gore

As you can see from this list, there is never an instance when a vice-president of a President who was formerly the vice-president ever got elected.   Barkley, Humphrey, Rockefeller, and Quayle being the notables in this case.   Essentially, due to the consistent need to pick someone a bit duller, a bit less presidential, the president is guaranteeing that eventually the bulb will be too dim to be useful (Barkley, Humphrey, Rockefeller, and Quayle).

With this in mind, who could the dim bulb presidential nominee, George Bush, possibly select to run with him?

Here is our Short List for George W. Bush to choose from:

Gomer Pyle
A dim bulb himself, a lot dimmer since Jim Nabor is dead, but the character Gomer Pyle would bring more military background to Dubya's ticket since Pyle's antics in the marines were a lot closer to military duty than what Dubya did during Vietnam.

Bruce Willis
Not respected for his intellectual abilities, nor his investment strategies, his outspokenness on the Clinton administration and his vehement anti-Gore stance, firmly aligns him with the Bush camp, yet with his movie star quality, he will capture some of that Hollywood vote.  And with Hollywood fame will come Hollywood money.

Dan Quayle
While at first glance, one might suspect Dubya is dimmer than Quayle, Dubya has better handlers in the form of all his Dad's and Reagan's advisors trying to groom the dauphin for the throne, while Quayle will always be remembered as the man who couldn't spell potato and as the man who made blunder after blunder in office.  Dubya at his worst, Dubya making fun of a woman who was killed in his penal system, Dubya making statements like 'there ought to be limits to freedom' will never be outshined by Quayle.

David Hasselhoff
While he might be more photogenic than Dubya, which will draw in the die hard romance reader's and men who loved Knight Rider, he is too much a caricature for people to take too seriously.  Meanwhile, he still brings in that Hollywood money.

Jeb Bush
Being the little brother, he'll never be able to outshine Dubya.  And Dubya, being the favored son, will be able to keep Jeb in line easily enough.  Besides, with the Kennedy's people loved the idea of brother's working together.  This would also give Jeb the chance to run for the presidency and guarantees that if Dubya were to die in office, a Bush would still be running this country.  Which would make Papa George very happy in his attempt to create a monarchy.

 

Return to Twisted Concepts

Copyright 2000 Sean D. Francis All Rights Reserved.
Ghastly Humour is not intended for children under 18 years of age.