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That succulent chocolate, wrapped in Oprah Winfrey-esque wisdom, is a reason to live all in itself.  Dove Promises® have become one of the best selling candies recently.  But like Hallmark® cards, someone has to come up with the schmarmy saying written inside.  Not all sayings are accepted.  We bring you the rejects.

Being alone is a good reason to get fat.

Feelings are best expressed loudly.

You deserve better, dump him.

Music can touch you the way your lazy husband hasn't in years.

A sunset reminds us that all warmth cools, just like your marriage.

The sweet song of the bluebird can't be heard above the din of the neighbor's stereo.

A smile is the first step in getting laid.

A brook can't stop itself from babbling, you can.

You are the jewel in the crown of one night stands.

Always take a moment to reflect on why your life sucks.

Remember the little things, or else you will forget your ex completely.

Out of every day, there is a flower that can be smelled -- too bad it isn't for you.

You are such a loser.



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Copyright 2000 Sean D. Francis All Rights Reserved.
Ghastly Humour is not intended for children under 18 years of age.