Sean's Journal
Write Me

This is my last city friend to go. Now all my "close" friends live halfway across the country, all my 'good' friends live way out in the suburbs, and all I have left is Therese - which isn't the same because she doesn't exactly have the same interests as me. This almost feels as bad as when you break up with someone and realize you sacrificed all your other friendships to be with that person and now you have nothing.

I find it difficult to make friends with people because of my severe misanthropy, cynicism, and selfishness. I fundamentally just don't care about people I've just met. Invariably whenever I meet someone I think is sorta cool, he wigs out on me. He'll either have a monofixation (all he talks about is cars, or computers, or Gwar concerts) or he relates stories to me that make me want to back away slowly ("There was this time when I was 25 and picked up this 15 year old chick as she got out from school.")

Or I fall into the 'typical guy' syndrome. I don't like sports. Typical Guy does. I don't like sitting in bars drinking, as I prefer to be in clubs dancing. Typical Guy has his favorite bar where everyone knows his name. I'm not the typical guy, most men aren't, but everyone who wants to be my friend tends to be the 'typical guy'. "Hey, Sean, wanna go out to Rush Street Bar #3, get a beer after which we can head over to Hooters for some food?" Shoot me dead now, please. I guess this sort of solidifies my decision to take the Improv classes. At least I am sort of guaranteed to meet some unusual people there.

My other core problem is I make friends with girls easier than guys, but girls don't tend to like to do all the things I like (gaming for one). I think I spent so many years of my life trying to learn how to meet women that I've got that part honed. Meeting guy friends, apart from going to a bath house because I want guy friends but not in that way, is difficult.