Sean's Journal
Write Me

All my little stories are about as exciting as my going to the store and getting too much change back and having to struggle with the moral issue of giving it back or keeping it. Ugh. *My* eyes glaze over.

I have been practicing, though. Yes, I know that is as corny and stupid as all get out, but I don't know what else to do. Each morning on the train I think of an anectdote I can tell to someone at work. Whether it is something I witnessed or retelling something someone else has told me.

I think this is why I write fiction, nothing else seems interesting. Wait, scratch that. Nothing else I do seems interesting. I am endlessly fascinated by other people's anectdotes (as long as they have a conclusion - a point - a reason to be told.)

To me, when I talk with someone it is to convey information. In the lunchroom at work, when people are talking, I only contribute when they seem to be stuck on a problem that I have a solution to. Several people call me the therapist because I sit and listen and when they finish talking I give a quick 'here's what you could do' statement. That isn't a conversation.

And I find asking questions is a horrible way to start conversations because once I have the answer I don't know how to follow up on it. Sometimes I find myself asking questions that I already know the answer to just to have a reason to talk.

I also seem to live in an environment that any comment that is slightly negative reaps a out of proportion backlash. Any slight over generalization is met with a lawyer's fine tooth comb that ends up being a tedious cross examination. Yet, what I miss are the stupid throw away conversations. Staring at Magic:The Gathering cards and wondering if a Bog Imp with Giant Strength and a Wall of Water to protect it can effectively take out the Orclauncher equipped Crudthing. Or musing over whether or not the Sith have to be celibate or if they throw wild Sithlord orgies.

I find that my conversation is fairly pathetic and I must come off as a know it all bastard. I am only comfortable with what I know and I only know what I do and think about. Thus, after watching a movie, all I can say is what I would have done differently or the same. God I'm an ass. People must think I am an egomaniac.

All I want to know is how, when sitting next to a stranger, I can start a conversation. Actually, maybe easier, how can I have a conversation with someone I already know?