Sean's Journal
Write Me

People died. I don't care.

Our team won the World Series. I don't care.

It's pathetic. The things I do care about are so minor in comparison. I think my cat ate a rubber band and I can't sleep with worry, thinking it may obstruct his bowels. Honestly, how does that compare to the HIV crisis in Africa? Or the continuing crisis in the Middle East? There's a homeless guy who hangs out on the street between my work place and the el platform. We chat sometimes, I give him five bucks when I can, and when he is gone for long periods of time I get worried that something happened to him. I don't know his name, but for some reason I care. Why him and not the guy who doesn't have a foot who sits outside the Merchandise Mart? I know it isn't guilt because I pass up so many homeless people and beggers that it rolls off me. I know I can't save everyone and if I am to give money, I am better off donating it to a shelter or food bank. I'm also the type of guy who sees someone who is mildly able bodied and think, they could be cleaning streets and parks, not begging.

The people over at Slashdot seem to really care if Linux is called Linux or GNU/Linux. They seem to really care if they use Windows or Linux or Mac OS. Why? Would the world be fundamentally different? Would rainbows suddenly sprout from the ground like some Betty Boop cartoon?

I don't think humans have a finite amount of compassion. I do believe that we are capable of caring about everything. So why don't we? I think for the longest time, I believed that having an opinion about something was the same as caring about it. I also believed that suggesting a solution showed true compassion. I have an opinion and a solution about everything, but I don't care enough about those opinions and solutions to do anything about them. I have a solution to the African AIDS crisis, to this country's crumbling education system, to the tax system, and to how to become rich.

Too bad I don't really care about any of them to attempt to see if my solutions would actually work.

I had a friend in college who told me this little tale. Our school made a big deal about Martin Luther King during Black History Month. We had speakers, assemblies, shows, and movies promoting African Heritage. My friend said that on his way to the library on Lincoln's birthday, he passed by the large bust of lincoln in the foyer and thought about hanging a sign around it which would have read: 'Does anyone remember?' or something. I said that sounded like a great idea and asked if he did it. He said no, just thinking about it was enough to satisfy him.

Just "knowing" I can solve this global problems is enough for me, I don't have to actually care and exert effort to actually improve anything or help anyone.

I care that I don't care.