COLUMN

Thus Spake Silestra

From My Journal   - June 23rd, 1996

3:14am
The insomnia is at work again.  I've taken sleeping pills the past two nights, I don't want to become reliant upon them.  Last night I thoroughly cleaned the bathroom.  Now I'm afraid I am becoming obsessive.  The mirror has light streaks from this morning after I wiped it from brushing my teeth.  Its driving me crazy.

I notice my neighbors are also up.  He works late, some sort of security guard or something.  They fight a lot.  I don't know what she does.   I wonder if they are married.  I couldn't imagine being married.  I'm rambling.  Ramble on, sister.  Ramblers, lets get rambling.

Ever notice how coffee tastes worse and worse after you drink several cups?  Not that I'm drinking coffee.  I must be craving caffeine, but I'm drinking my nighty-night herbal tea like a good girl.

I sometimes wonder if a person could die from sleep deprivation.   Wouldn't a person eventually fall asleep no matter the conditions?  I know I've fallen asleep in some bizarre circumstances: standing in the shower (okay, leaning), back rubs, in broad daylight, at a concert, and on stairs.  But if a person couldn't fall asleep, would their heart stop from being too tired?  Would they hallucinate?   I wonder if it would be like a vision quest.  I wonder if I am so sleep deprived I am hallucinating?  It would be a cool experiment to do.  I'm sure some college students somewhere are combining drugs and sleep deprivation.  Weird stuff.  3:30am.  I've gotta be up in 3 hours.  Kinda funny.  Gotta be up -- I am up. 

This world would be better if work conformed itself to the individual's schedule instead of vice versa.  I'm going to wast 3 hours -- 3 unproductive hours while at work I'm going to be too tired to concentrate.  Not my business -- if they prefer a tired inefficient me over an awake efficient me, so be it.  3:37am -- time to defrost the freezer, I think.

Silestra is a practicing witch and in her spare time is trying to raise a darling little girl.  Writing helps tame the demons which plague her mind in the wee hours of the morning.  She has always been attracted to the dark side of life, and has taken many expeditions into the deepest darkest parts of the human soul.  She has stared into the abyss and has seen the monster that stares back.

She describes herself primarily as a 'random net entity' escaping meatspace for cyberspace where all is possible and the imagination is the fuel for all action.